What It Really Feels Like Being Glutened

Being born allergic to gluten is one thing. Randomly discovering it in your 20s alongside half a dozen other allergies is another. All in all, it blows (this pun will make sense in about 30 seconds).

Last week, I watched an Instagram Reel of a chronically ill creator sharing her experience with being glutened by Delta Airlines (definitely not the first similar story I’ve heard either). The video cut to a projectile vomiting situation, which I won’t share here for the sake of my emetophobic friends, but the story was raw and hit a lil too close to home.

A single crumb can cause untold levels of destruction, and it’s high time we talked about it.

Symptoms of Being Glutened

I shouldn’t have to say everyone’s experience with food allergies and/or Celiac disease is different, but I’m adding it here for good measure. I’m not the queen of either community (or any community, really), so take everything below with a grain of salt!

The physical symptoms are real

Wheat and gluten make an especially terrible duo that likes to wreak havoc on my body in the following ways:

-Hives dot my body like constellations of pure agony

-There’s a bowling ball inside my skull rolling towards the back of my eyes, and it’s hitting a strike every single time

-My appetite enters the Twilight Zone, and I have no idea whether eating something will make everything 10x better or 1000x worse

-I marry the toilet and trash can (That’s right, I need to plan for BOTH ends)

-One of these spiky boys from Mario’s world commits to a pilgrimage through each of my intestines

The mental symptoms are real too

If the physical symptoms weren’t bad enough, here’s what I get to add to the smorgasbord of suffering:

-The shame is so very real, feeling stupid I’m stuck in this situation yet again

-Books, TV, and my phone aren’t even on my mind anymore. I just want to SURVIVE the next 72 hours.

-I transform into Eeyore, and the cloud of all things depressed and panicky sticks to me like a melted Croc in Arizona

Fun, right???

The worst part of being glutened?

Being glutened leads to a distinct lack of trust in yourself and your environment.

All the other sh*t (another literal pun) is miserable yet manageable with enough practice, while the latter feels impossible to bounce back from.

Some of us simply don’t eat out anymore at all because constantly being let down is so traumatic.

Besides, gluten poisoning can lead to actual hospitalizations, and who wants to risk a $2,000 bill over a taco?

What to Do If You Get Glutened

None of this is medical advice, as you know your body best, but this is what’s helped me the most with being glutened over the years.

• Take Charcoal (Spaced Apart from Any Other Medication!!!)

• Alternate Electrolytes and Water

• Do Not Push Yourself in the Slightest

• Take Bedrest Seriously

• Eat Small but Eat Often

How to Support a Loved One That Got Glutened

If you’re trying to support a loved one through their gluten symptoms, try:

• Limiting Questions and Conversations to the Bare Minimum

• Anticipating Needs or Following a Checklist to Give Your Loved One Time to Rest

• Keeping the Electrolytes, Water, and Safe Snacks Ready

• Learning How to Read Nutrition Labels

• Learning How to Call Ahead with Restaurants and Confirm Their Safety & Cross Contamination Procedures

If you’re a person who still has to go to work after being glutened, I wish I had advice for you, but I haven’t figured out how to do that myself yet. I have one of the highest pain tolerances I’ve seen in a person, and gluten poisoning leaves me down for the count for days. I simply cannot function at all. I recognize staying at home is a huge privilege!

In this situation, I’d probably do a light fast with bone broth and tea so my digestive system doesn’t get too heavy while I’m on the move.

What to Eat After You Get Glutened

• Follow the BRAT diet for 48-72 hours (bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast)

• Bone Broth + Plain Rice

• Peppermint Tea

• Ginger Chews

Thanks for Tuning In

I know this blog post is a bit of a departure from our usual writing and marketing content, but as a chronically ill business owner, it’s in my heart to share more about that side of me, too!

Whether you’ve also experienced the things in this post or you use it to take better care of a friend, I’m happy you’re here.